Monthly Archives: June 2012

HELLO?? ARE YOU LISTENING??

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I recently gave a communication workshop that I called “Hello?? Are you Listening??” to a wonderful group of professional women. The premise of this topic was to raise awareness of the importance of listening as an equal counterpart of speaking, to understand why listening is not as easy as we like to think, and to get the practical ways of how we can enhance our listening skills and therefore improve the quality of our communication. The workshop went tremendously well, with all the ladies actively participating and attentively listening! *big smiles on my face

Photo credit: technorati.com

How can I be more interesting to people?

I completed my day at one of the chambers’ networking evening event. You always meet different, unique and interesting people at these events. Personally, I like to ask questions to and about the person I’m talking to, especially when I’m just meeting them for the first time, with the intention to explore about them – and make conversations. Dale Carnegie, an international communication guru said in his book “How to win friends and influence people” that in order to be interesting, you must first be interested! He also said that the rule of thumb of a good conversationalist is to be a good listener.

Here’s a fact, most of us think that the only person we think is interesting is ourselves!

As the story goes, I met a gentleman at the event who was very interesting. He had a story for everything,…and apparently the stories never stopped coming. What I came to realize was that he was a talker, as he started monopolizing the conversations. At one point of the conversation, I made an attempt to reply to his comment by telling a short story. And sure enough, he interrupted me halfway by starting a new topic altogether. I was actually quite dumbfounded by this notion. I found it ironical and comical at the same time, knowing the fact that I’d just given a workshop about listening earlier that day.

Okay, are you listening now??

The incident I had with that gentleman just re-confirmed my belief that listening is NOT easy and that it’s a skill everyone can learn and practice. You know when you’re having a good conversation with someone when there’s an equal amount of interaction, equal amount of asking and equal amount of answering or story telling. Conversations are like a game of tennis, it’s fun when two players are hitting the ball back and forth to each other. Good communication or conversations are also based on respect. When you respect someone, you’re able to listen to them better. But don’t forget, the opposite also holds true, respecting someone means giving them a chance to be heard. When you’re sharing a story to a friend, and she gives you an undivided attention, doesn’t it make you feel really good about yourself? Like you’re the most interesting person on earth?

I hope some of you can benefit from my (unfortunate) encounter. But we can change things around in our daily communications and make a conscious effort to listen better. Next time you want to interrupt someone in the middle of their sentence, stop and listen more – there might be something very interesting you wouldn’t discover otherwise.

This article has been published on Outward Bound Indonesia’s blog

Reflections on Jakarta Highland Gathering

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This past weekend, Outward Bound Indonesia participated in a prestigious event called Jakarta Highland Gathering (JHG). It is originally an annual event that takes place in Scotland to celebrate Scottish and Celtic traditions and heritage. This wonderful event was brought to Indonesia some 30 years ago and it’s turned into an annual tradition since.The event involves some serious and highly competitive highland games such as the heavies, caber toss, piping competitions and dancing. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highland_games For the rest of us, it’s a chance to enjoy the sun while having some fun.

Underprivileged kids given the opportunity to play and explore. Photo credit: Outward Bound Indonesia / Yulius Bahy

On Saturday, May 26, 2012 we helped to sponsor JHG’s Charity Day. It was a fantastic way to give back to the community and young children through sports and games. Close to 300 underprivileged kids aged 7 – 17 showed up that day just to have fun. They participated in several different activities; from our Outward Bound games, to rugby, soccer, cricket, bouncy castle and tug o war. When you looked at their faces, all you saw was pure bliss, such contentment to be able to play on a (well-kept) large soccer field.

On Sunday, May 27, 2012 we had a large area in which we placed a 10-meter-high vertical challenge tower. It doesn’t sound high, but believe me it was. Our location happened to be on the lakeside of which we took advantage by setting up canoeing activities. Interestingly enough, apart from some adults, most of the ones who tried our facilities were young kids, aged 4 all the way up to 17. You wouldn’t believe how unwavering these 4, 5, 6 year old, boys and girls, flying through the tower like superkids – and believe you me, they were! They were up for anything, didn’t show any concern of the heights nor the difficult obstacles. Truly great sports!

An 8-year old girl brave up to climb the “Tower of Courage”. Photo credit: Outward Bound Indonesia / Yulius Bahy

Kids and families explore the water. Photo credit: Outward Bound Indonesia / Yulius Bahy

The Fear Factor

I was so amazed by this fact, that I went and did some serious observing that day. And what I observed was that the younger the kids were, the less concerned they were about heights or the water. I suppose the theory about fear is true, in that fear comes from a perceived threat. If we don’t know the risk of something, we wouldn’t be afraid of it or to try it. If we had a negative experience with eating spinach, we might be reluctant to try again in the future. In the same light, babies, toddlers or small kids don’t instinctively know the sensation of fire being hot. Typically the adults will tell them it’s hot and not to touch it – OR, kids will go ahead and touch it, cry and learn about fire being hot and (maybe) learn the lesson to not touch it next time.They say kids’ brains are like sponges that they absorb everything. And the more they experience diverse things in life, the more wholesome they become.

It’s wonderful when kids are being exposed to different experience, stimulus and challenges. So to me, it was a positive experience to see on both days of JHG that kids dive right into activities, especially those that perhaps for many others were perceived as “challenge activities”. So here’s to kids being able to play and explore – and to hoping more kids can get the opportunity to do so!