5 Ciri Gen-Y dengan Adversity Quotient (AQ) Tinggi

Telah dibuktikan bahwa ada 3 hal yang menjadi prediktor global untuk kesuksesan seseorang, yaitu IQ (inteligensia), EQ (keterampilan emosional), dan AQ (resiliensi terhadap tantangan).

Adversity Quotient (AQ) adalah penilaian ilmiah yang mengukur resiliensi seseorang, daya tahan seseorang saat menghadapi tekanan atau kesulitan. Seseorang dengan AQ yang tinggi memiliki kemampuan, keterampilan dan mindset yang positif untuk menghadapi bahkan keluar dari situasi tersebut. Lebih jauh dari itu, dia menyambut tantangan dengan sikap yang positif. Sebaliknya, seseorang dengan AQ yang rendah cenderung memiliki kesulitan dan putus asa dalam mengatasi masalah, dan menjauhi tantangan.

Gen Y (Millenial) pun sama, ada yang memiliki AQ tinggi, dan ada yang lebih rendah. Tantangan kita sebagai Leaders adalah untuk memastikan SDM Gen-Y kita mempunyai resiliensi yang tinggi atau bisa meningkat, agar boosting performa bisnis.

 

Berikut adalah 5 ciri Millenial dengan AQ yang tinggi dalam Pekerjaan:

1. Mindset positif. Merespon sesuatu dengan perspektif yang positif, antusias dan optimistis, bukan negatif. Milenial ini cenderung proaktif, tidak reaktif terhadap situasi atau masalah.
2. Berani keluar dari zona nyaman. Orang ini bertipe suka menjemput tantangan. Merespon situasi yang tidak nyaman dengan tenang dan cara pandang yang positif. Tidak suka dengan status quo, sehingga selalu ingin berkembang, ingin mencapai hasil yang lebih baik. Faktor motivasi diri dan disipilin diri tinggi, sehingga membutuhkan faktor eksternal yang relatif rendah.
3. Tidak takut hadapi perubahan. Perubahan adalah hal yang wajar. Milenial dengan AQ tinggi akan agile dalam mengatasi situasi yang tidak menentu, akan memimpin Tim-nya dengan efektif untuk melalui perubahan bersama-sama.
4. Kegagalan adalah kesempatan belajar. Milenial ber-AQ tinggi menganggap kegagalan bukan akhir dari segalanya, malah merupakan kesempatan untuk belajar dan mengembangkan diri. Individu ini tidak mudah menyerah saat dalam masalah, atau menghadapi penolakan. Hasil adalah penting, namun proses juga memiliki peran yang sama pentingnya.
5. Bukan complainer atau blamer. Milenial yang memiliki AQ tinggi memiliki  akuntabilitas dan rasa tanggung jawab terhadap pekerjaan, tidak suka mengeluh atau menyalahkan orang lain saat dalam menghadapi tekanan atau masalah.

Semoga artikel ini dapat membantu mengidentifikasi dan memicu resiliensi tim Millenial Anda.

Hubungi Outward Bound Indonesia (email: info@outwardboundindo.org atau ph: 021-548-1529) untuk dapat info lebih lanjut tentang AQ dan program Training untuk mengembangkannya.

Women & Leadership: Nature, Nurture or Neither?

I read somewhere that there is a set of distinct traits that students of girls schools share, that girls from their coeducational counterparts otherwise wouldn’t, among which are high self-confidence (the article may even have said overconfidence), and the camaraderie.

Having graduated from one myself, I’d undoubtedly vouch for those claims. My formative and pubescent years of middle school and high school were spent in one of the most reputable school systems in Indonesia called St. Ursula. Set in the same compound as Jakarta Cathedral, the 200 year old colonial-style campus exuded the same fortitude as the quality of education delivered.

Our headmistress, a Dutch educated Catholic nun, was a traditionalist but visionary, powerful but gentle, modest but brilliant and whose motto “think” was uncompromising. She wouldn’t accept mediocrity, her method pushed you to keep trying new things until you could accomplish your goals, she believed that intelligence was important but it wasn’t everything, that being a well-rounded individual was more essential than being smart, she taught you to be involved as active members of society and not as spectators. Moreover she was also “killer”. She was an authority figure you wouldn’t want to have a run-in with, as she would let you and everybody know that you did something wrong. But on the same token, getting schooled by her was a rite of passage, a privilege and to an extent, a bragging right that could be told for years. True to this last point, I for one, can proudly say survived the latter. To this day, she is still loved, hated, admired and idolized as an educator, by the throngs.

A rather interesting observation many people share though is not only about her, but about the alumni, that there is a certain mold that St Ursula graduates seem to fit into. Mixed in the professional world, you could pinpoint an Ursula alum from the crowd like a sore thumb. The public opinion seems to be that the women are typically natural leaders, driven, opinionated, confident, vocal, thoughtful, independent and generally successful.

 

Over the last 20 years, research has shown that girls think, interact, display leadership, and make decisions differently than boys. Studies shows that with fewer gender distractions, girls learn to be more competitive, accept leadership roles, and spend more time on schoolwork and personal interests. Studies point to educational disparities between the sexes, and found that, in mixed schools, girls routinely are called upon less, receive less feedback, and display lower self-esteem than boys. Furthermore, according to Forbes, in the business world, women currently hold only 4.6 percent of Fortune 500 CEO positions and the same percentage of Fortune 1000 CEO positions. In 2014, women working full time in the United States typically were paid just 79 percent of what men were paid, a gap of 21 percent.

These statements pose a degree of curiosity for me. Does leadership come naturally for women, or does it require a sequestered condition of nurturing and grooming that is different from men? Moreover, are both properties above combined, plus a favorable opportunity, the chance women need to gain a leadership position? I attended a women leadership forum where top female executives of major Indonesian and international corporations spoke. In one occasion the speakers agreed that women must speak up and dare to ask the bold questions in order to break the glass ceilings and climb the corporate ladders. This then begs the question if leadership is granted to women, or do we have the same fair chance as men to earn it? My final thought, Do women with comparable traits, competencies, skills, knowledge, drive, passion as the men counterpart, when compared to or are competing with them stand equal chance? Or rather, in this day and age, should this type of question not even be asked anymore?

My next Talk, What’s next for HR in 2016

Upcoming event for fellow HR practitioners. What’s next for HR in 2016?
I’ll be talking about AQ (Adversity Quotient), and why it is essential to improve it for the future Gen Y leaders.
The event is on Thursday, 3 Mar 2016 in Jakarta.

2016 Resolution: Stop Making Excuses for Yourself!

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else” – Benjamin Franklin

This particular show called “My 600-lb Life” caught my attention recently. The premise of the programme is to tell a story about people who suffer from obesity, about their past, about how and when they started becoming overweight, about their current life situation dealing with it, and about how eventually they go through a gastric bypass surgery to help catalyze weight loss and the follow up. As expected, people who are obese are essentially immobile, needing a caretaker to tend to their every need, have poor health, and lead an imbalanced lifestyle.

A woman weighing 690 lbs went through a bypass surgery and after six months only managed to lose less than 100 lbs from the possible 300 lbs. They showed that she refused all kinds of instructions and recommendations given to her such as diet, exercise, physical therapy, and a generally active lifestyle. She had all the excuses in the world for why she wouldn’t follow them, to a point where even the doctor finally resigned from her case.

A simple tip for goal setting that I’d like to share are the “3 D’s”. The first “D” of goal setting is “Desire” to achieve it, that is, asking yourself ‘how much do I want this?’. If you don’t get excited about the goal, then maybe it’s not something you really want to pursue in the first place. Pick something that makes your heart race just thinking about it, and you’ll be more likely to complete it.

The other 2 D’s are “Determination” and “Discipline,” that is how much you are willing to work for the goals despite the roadblocks. Anyone can set a goal easily. The overweight woman may appear resolute to lose weight in the beginning, but she wasn’t willing to work towards her goals and that is the reason for her failure. The ultimate test of goal setting or goal achieving is in the process, when we have to put in the time, energy, effort and sacrifice.

We don’t not do things because we can’t, but because we won’t. The question we need to ask ourselves about our goal is, ‘Will I work for my goals, or will I make excuses for why I won’t?’ Additionally, a smart thing to do is to identify the potential roadblocks before the journey even starts and the sacrifices we would need to make regularly or constantly in order to reach these goals. This way, we can brace ourselves and prepare for those challenges beforehand, rather than being caught off guard and underestimating these challenges.

I hope the “3 D’s” formula can help you understand the right mindset for effective goal setting and goal accomplishing. It’s got to be something meaningful that will move you. However, in order to reap the rewards, it’s guaranteed to be nothing short of hard work.

So my 2016 wish to you is for a prosperous year ahead filled with happiness, health and laughter.

This article has been published on Now! Jakarta magazine January 2016 issue.

5 Common Mistakes People Make in Team Building Trainings

In my profession as a Coach in the People Development business, I see mistakes that HR Managers, Directors, even CEOs make in confusing team building trainings as a cost versus an investment for the company. In an economic sense, investment is the purchase of goods that are not consumed today, but are used in the future to create wealth.

Cost is the price paid to acquire something. Training is an investment because people are assets, not commodities. To emphasize the phrase ‘used in the future to create wealth’ to describe investment, as leaders we believe that our employees and team members will generate wealth for the organization, therefore we invest in them by developing them. One of the frequent arguments against investing in professional development is “What happens if I train my people and they leave?” A better question is “What happens if you don’t train them and they stay?”

Benefits of Team Development Trainings

An effective team building training will be able to help your organization reach new heights by building trust among the members, improving communication and collaboration, boosting their morale and essentially increasing productivity and performance. What does all this mean for the bottom line of a company? According to studies, employees with high morale are 89% more likely to put in extra effort and extra hours at work.

So in order for your company to get the most ROI from a team building training, I’d like to share the 5 most common mistakes people make that you need to avoid:

1. Being Unclear about your Goals

   You must be clear about what you want to attain from the training, and how you wish your training partner to help you reach your goals. Do you just want your employees to have a shared experience, or do you actually want them to learn about each other and to synergize together? By setting a clear goal, it’ll help you to consider the right approach as well as partner for your endeavors (see #2 below)

    

2. Picking the Wrong Partner to Develop your Team

   Next to #1, this is the second most important element to having a successful team building training. The right training partner can diagnose what your team needs, has the right software and hardware to deliver the programme, has the experience and credentials, and most critically understands how important this investment is for you.
   

3. Thinking Team Building must be Fun
   

   Too many people mistake team building as some kind of a paid vacation that’s injected with some amount of learning, sponsored by the company. The point of learning is stretching our old thinking into new philosophies, and this process to some degree requires leaving our comfort zone – and for some, this is no walk in the park. So if you’re thinking of investing money on fun in the name of training, you’d better think again.

4. Thinking Team Building Training is to Play Games
   

   The most effective method to develop a team is through a shared experience, scientifically known as experiential learning training. You and other team members are outside of a classic 4-wall classroom, are given a series of problem-solving tasks and simulations to be solved together. But there is more than meets the eye. The activities or simulations are only one part of the equation. An effective experiential learning training is one that delivers both the experience and the learning equally well. It should provide a meaningful experience; facilitate impactful reflections to draw insights behind the activities and relate them back to real-life situations.

5. Thinking Team Building is a Quick Fix

   Rome was not built in one day, and neither are teams. Studies show that people need 21 consecutive days to form a new habit, hence repetition is key. A good team building training is able to offer solutions for your teamwork issues that give a long-term impact. They say, a quick fix is a short-term fix. So if you want a strong team that’s permanent, you have to be willing to put in the time and the work.

We all desire a team that works like a well-oiled machine and yields high productivity. Sometimes we’ve got it, sometimes we haven’t got it yet. One thing is for sure, wherever we are in that spectrum, a well-coordinated and engaged team doesn’t just happen automatically. We call it teamwork because the whole team has to put in the work. You may contract a training partner to help develop your people, but building your teams is not their full-time job, it’s yours. My wish in your endeavor for wealth in your organization, is that you are investing in your people correctly and wisely.

This article has published on Now! Jakarta magazine

Forgive me Dear for I Have Sinned

I used to look down on the old cliché, “your wedding day is the best day of your life”.  I just didn’t buy it; I suppose I’ve always been a realist rather than a romantic.

My suspicions heightened in the lead up to my own wedding day with both myself and my fiancé engulfed in the usual stresses of work, but also the additional pressures of wedding planning, to the point where we became each other’s own worst enemies. This cloud of animosity loomed in my mind until I actually had qualms and doubts about the big day. Fortunately, with the support and advice of caring people around me – my fiancé included – I was able to find peace again, faith was restored and it saved me. My husband Jake and I tied the knot last month, and it was the greatest decision I’ve made yet!

One of the best pieces of marital advice we received was from the publisher of this magazine, Alistair Speirs, who attended our wedding with his lovely wife of 26 years, Barbara. He kindly shared with us the key to a long lasting and happy marriage – forgiveness. We have all heard it before, but have we truly experienced its power?

Honestly, I couldn’t say I had until very recently. The state of the relationship that I was in with my then fiancé had been a wake up call and forced me to face the truth that happiness was my choice and my responsibility, not somebody else’s. I can proudly say that the first step I took for the good of my marriage was to forgive my partner for his past wrongdoings, whether he did them intentionally or not. This decision has set me free of grudges, made me happier and able to see him in a much more positive light, and in effect improved the dynamics between us.

What has forgiveness got to do with happiness? 

My new definition of the word “forgive” is a state of mind where we voluntarily make a decision to let go of negative emotions caused by wrongdoings done by someone in the past. Allow me to dissect this definition.

A “State of Mind”

Forgiveness is not based on others’ actions but on our own attitude. We forgive not because somebody asked for it, not even the offender, but because we’re no longer allowing the hurt, disappointment, vengefulness, resentment and other negative emotions to occupy our mind. Forgiveness doesn’t mean being weak. It does not mean letting the offender off the hook. We can and should still hold others accountable for their actions or lack of actions.

A “Voluntary Decision”

In light of inter-personal relationships, forgiveness is a peaceful mental condition toward our offender that can potentially lead to reconciliation. Forgiving is not saying, “What you did was okay, so go ahead and walk all over me”. Nor is it playing the martyr, enjoying the performance of forgiving people because it perpetuates our victim role. Forgiveness is something deep and personal, it could be a one-way street without the offender ever knowing or respecting your decision. Getting another person to change his or her actions, behaviour or words isn’t the point of forgiveness. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change our lives — by bringing us peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing. Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to wield in our life.

“Wrongdoings”

People make mistakes, it’s part of human nature. After we forgive, the offender might still repeat their offenses. Should we forgive again? Yes, why not!?  Forgiveness is a process not an event, it’s a commitment not an obligation, and it might take time to get used to it, to heal and truly feel the benefits. But don’t mistake forgiveness for reconciliation. We can forgive someone even if we can never get along with them the same as before.

When we forgive, we remove our grudges and negative emotions against that person, we do it for our own peace and not their glory. Forgiveness can potentially change everything about our relationship with others because of what it can do for us. I hope this article is able to shed some positive light on forgiveness and how it can help in our journey towards happiness.

Three Reasons NOT to Make a New Year’s Resolution

Ahhh, it’s that time of the year, New Year, where spirits are high, motivation is up, dreams are abundant and hopes are plentiful! One of the most universal and wonderful habits during this period is making a resolution. Why wouldn’t one want to take advantage of the occasion and start a new leaf with new aspirations and new promises? It all sounds fantastic and makes you all tingly inside, doesn’t it?

Here’s the hard truth though, according to a research from the University of Scranton, only eight per cent of people actually achieve their New Year’s goals. Eight percent! In other words, 92 out of 100 people fail to reach their dreams. Are you among this bunch who gave up on your dreams? Well, that sounds a bit harsh!

Alright, let’s rephrase the question. Do you remember what goals you set last year? What was it or what were they? How did you do? Did you achieve it? If not, how close did you get to achieving those goals? Are you satisfied with your accomplishments? My guess is some of you may not remember your resolutions, many of you didn’t follow through with them and may be thinking “another year, another resolution…down the drain!”.

Many people get impulsive in setting new goals, especially in the New Year. Unfortunately many can’t even track down how close they were in reaching them throughout the year. So why do we bother making them in the first place! I’ll share with you three reasons why we should NOT make a new year’s resolution:

1. If we can’t break down our goals into digestible and do-able tactics and strategies, then we really shouldn’t make one at all.

When we say “I want to lose 15 kgs in one year”, do we really know how to achieve that? Does it make us feel challenged or lost? A goal is supposed to make us feel a little uncomfortable inside, but just as importantly, it’s supposed to make us feel like we CAN achieve it! What good does it do if we already feel defeated before the battle even started? Compare to “I want to lose 15 kgs in one year, which equals to 1.25 kgs per month”. Doesn’t that goal sound more attainable and enticing? When you’re setting a goal, break it down to smaller-scaled tactics.

2. If you can’t hold yourself accountable for your resolutions, give them up!

Commitment is a promise you keep because you feel accountable for it. When making a resolution, we are painting a dream that requires a commitment in order to achieve it. The irony of a commitment is that most people can keep promises to other people more than they can to themselves.

If this is the case, maybe it’ll be worth your while to make a resolution as a promise to somebody else. You can ask a friend, or a family member, or a mentor to help you. A couple of weeks ago, my girlfriends and I shared our 2015 resolutions in front of each other; one person took note and afterwards shared the list of goals to the group.

When I read the minutes, truthfully it made me feel a bit anxious about letting down the group by not keeping my promise. Hence, I suppose it’s a good thing that other people heard my resolutions and can come back and check on my progress or commitment from time to time.

3. If you can’t envision the impact and true benefits of your goals, then why make them?

How is your goal going to affect your life? How is it going to make you feel? If you can’t say that your resolutions will make your life or other people’s lives better, more meaningful and enriched, and you a happier person, then you might want to consider redefining your resolution. It’s not that I don’t endorse shallow goals, but if we can’t feel in our gut how our goals will truly make us happy, then we won’t really put our heart into our efforts; and consequently if we don’t end up reaching them then we can resort to feeling like we haven’t lost anything anyway! For example, let’s say your goal is to go on an Alaskan cruise because you’ve never been on a cruise ship and one of your dreams is to see the glaciers.

Try redefining that goal into a feeling of happiness, joy and pride. And try to envision how the trip will enrich your life by way of seeing a different part of the world, seeing the wonders of nature and meeting people from all over. If you can visualise the true positive impacts your goal will bring to your life, then you will more likely strive to achieve it, because by not attaining it, you will not have only failed to reach a goal, but more importantly you have lost part of your happiness.

This article has been published in Now! Jakarta magazine

WHY NOT “WHY NOT!” ?

I was asked this question a couple of days ago,” What do you think about traveling to Georgia next month for a week?”. My immediate reaction was “Why? Why a week? Why Georgia? Seems so short for some place so far away? Seems..crazy.” I justified declining the idea with my busy schedule. I admit, as a travel adorer myself, the invitation was very tempting!

A day later, I attended an event where I heard a guy’s response to what could, for many, seem like an outlandish idea to be “why not!”
We are programmed to intelligently turn down ideas, say no to proposals, reject invitations by asking “why?”. Why this and why that were originally designed for finding reasons as to why something is, but more often than not are actually used as a logical excuse to why something shouldn’t be.

In the movie “Yes Man” out some years ago, Jim Carrey plays a guy that challenges himself to say ‘yes’ to everything for an entire year as a therapy. I’m not advocating that we should throw all our senses out the window and go with our impulses all the time. But then again, maybe that’s exactly the problem! We are shaped by society to use our rationale for all decision-making processes, which in effect our impulses became dull and tend to reject new ideas just because they’re foreign to us, which results in the denial of a myriad of possibilities.

Let’s pause and try something here. If we reversed the above formula and said, if I wanted to experience new things, then I’d have to try new ideas that are foreign to me, and therefore I’d have to give my brain a break and go the opposite of what it would say. Voila, the inverted formula works!

As I’m writing this, I researched the word impulsive, and I was surprised to see a source framing it to be of something negative. “Impulsive actions are typically poorly conceived and often results in undesirable consequences. When such actions have positive outcomes, they tend not to be seen as signs of impulsivity, but as indicators of boldness, quickness, spontaneity, courageousness, or unconventionality”

So I suppose it could just be a matter of words. For all intents and purposes, let’s not call it impulsiveness, but rather courageousness. What if, by saying “why not!” we are in fact practicing courage, honing on our spontaneity, sharpening our quickness. That doesn’t sound bad at all, does it? My challenge now to you is to courageously exclaim ‘yes!’ to a fresh bold idea without a second thought.

As for me, I may not end up going to Georgia next month, but I’m up for other crazy proposals!

This article was published by NOW!Jakarta magazine October 2014 issue. Please click here to see the online version of the magazine. 

Are you in control of your emotional control?

How tragically interesting! As I was writing 5 paragraphs into this blog to primarily talk about self-control, the electricity decided to shut and long story short I lost all my article, leaving only one line I’d originally written on my first draft to mock me. Yes, all I wanted to do was scream, yell and beat myself out (or somebody else). But I didn’t! I suppose it wouldn’t have been wise on my part to react negatively anyway, because if I had, I would have lost my integrity and the entire blog would have been compromised. So please bear with me as I’m now regaining my cool while at the same time clicking the “save draft” button to prevent further loss and a potential major meltdown on my part. 🙂

My original 5 paragraph blog

50 minutes later.. this is what I ended up with

This is how my article would have looked like .. more or less.

In the spirit of Easter, I thought I’d share my lenten experience this past 40 days. This year I decided that I wouldn’t do things I’d typically go for like giving up meat on Friday. For this year, I wanted to do something different, more challenging and pertinent to my personal growth. I decided that I would be brave and confront my vice! I wanted to abstain from negative emotions, I wanted to curb anger and other manifestations alike. You see, I can be quite short fused and impatient as a person. It’s not something I’m proud of at all (for obvious reasons), and I’ve been trying to improve that area for a long time. So when lent began, I thought what better time to do it than now.

Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen!

So this is what I did. I committed that for every negative emotion I carried out, I would donate Rp. 10,000 (equivalent to USD 1) for a good cause. So all in all I figured it was a positive thing. If I succeeded, I was curbing my bad habits. If I failed, I was doing something good for other people. I accumulated Rp.320.000 at the end. So is it good or bad, one might ask? Since there’s no calibrated device to gauge these things, I suppose it’s hard to make a call whether I did well or not. But to me, it’s my personal best so far and I’m very proud of myself that I managed to refrain from festering some negative feelings during the process. Trust me, I could’ve lost more than Rp. 320.000 had it not for the wager.

To me it’s not about the wager, be it big or small. The most valuable lesson I learned from this experience is that emotions are an active will, a verb and it’s something we have full control of. Stephen Covey’s first of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is “Be proactive” in which he talks about the importance of taking initiative in life by realizing that your decisions are the primary determining factor for life effectiveness. In other words, we decide whether we want to feel good or bad.

Some people are built with a more positive predisposition, some with less. Those who have got a better predisposition have a head start over others. But it doesn’t mean that the quick tempered, short fused, impatient folks are hopeless and have to stay that way forever. It just means that we have to work harder to get better.

Switch it like an On/Off Button

I later discovered this fantastic hypothesis during the process which is, that we all have a possession to an on/off emotional switch. All our feelings and emotions are the currents that run through our body, all human beings have them, it’s normal. Whether we want to turn the switch on or off is our call. What the switch does is manifest the emotions we feel inside into a concrete action. Something can trigger us to feel angry, but we decide whether we want to turn the angry switch on or not. Something can trigger us to feel frustrated, but we decide whether we want to carry on and get frustrated or not. Vice versa, something can trigger us to feel happy, but we decide whether we want to get happy or not.This is why people react differently to different stimuli.

My emotional on/off switch

Honestly it was no walk in the park to try to stick to my “don’t get angry” commitment for 40 days, but I tell you it was well worth it. It wasn’t magic, there was no short cut unfortunately, in fact it took a lot of hard work in conditioning the mind. But I managed to do it. And if I could do it, I know you can too. Here are some tips that worked for me in my journey of emotional control, see if they can work for you too:

1. A Goal

Goal setting is paramount. All process for personal development begins with the end in mind. Whether you want to smile more, frown less, laugh more, yell at people less, whatever it is, write it down as a goal. My goal was to be more patient and less angered. I believed in the goal because I knew it would make me a more effective person and help me in my relationships with others. A goal will help you stay the course when the going gets tough and there are more temptations to do bad than there are motivations to do good.

2. Reminders

I posted sticky notes everywhere that say “Rp.10.000 for every negative emotion”, on my vanity mirror, bathroom mirror, in my closet to remind me about my wager. Reminders are helpful because we can easily forget about them. It’s unlikely that these goals would top someone’s bucket list. This may not change other people’s lives, but it can change our own lives. Have a daily reminder of your personal development goals.

3. Talk to yourself like a friend would

When I discovered that I’d lost my 5-paragraph blog, I literally repeated to myself “It’s okay. Don’t get angry. Don’t get frustrated. Just write it again, Wendy”. I pretended that somebody else was talking to me and it helped me cool off. I know for certain that if I dwelled on being negative, my brain would shut down and I wouldn’t be able to continue writing again. When we’re feeling emotional, we’re not ourselves. Haven’t you done or said things when you were angry that you later regretted? Emotions can easily trump rationale if we don’t control it. Next time when you’re upset about something, try stepping outside of your emotions and be a logical friend to yourself.

4. See the big picture

When we feel angry, our rationale is clouded by negative feelings and causes us to think short term. Condition your mind to see the big picture of things as they unravel. To me, this especially works in an argument. It helps to ask ourselves, “What are we trying to accomplish from this? To win the argument just for the sake of winning, or actually find a solution or common ground with that person?”

I couldn’t believe how effective my 40-day lenten commitment had turned out. Most of all as a final test, I’m so proud of myself that a little thing such as losing a 5-paragraph file didn’t affect my mood. In the end I think it paid off because I believe that I was able to produce something even better than I would have originally. *smiles* I know that I will continue this long and trying journey of emotional control. I hope you will stay tuned as I will keep you posted on my process!

To end my article, I’d like to leave you with a quote I recently read “Be selective in your battles, sometimes peace is better than being right.”

A sharing about Outward Bound Instructors: How do you keep a rare gem?

I was asked by a business publication recently to write about employment, the challenges of recruitment and talent retention. It’s not the easiest topic to write about, granted it’s a multi-faceted issue and there isn’t one single fail-proof solution good for all problems. Therefore I decided it’s best to write about my own experience and share some of our best practices at Outward Bound Indonesia.

The bread and butter of our Organization is our Trainers. Being an Outward Bound instructor is essentially a vocation or calling. To be an Outward Bound facilitator, it’s not enough that one knows all the Leadership laws and theories. It’s not enough that she has the proclivity for teaching. It’s not enough that she loves the outdoors. To be a great Outward Bound instructor, it’s the synergy of those things … and more! Like any true coach, one must be passionate about helping others grow and achieve their potential.

What does an Outward Bound Trainer actually do?

To give you an idea, our instructors start their day at 4 AM or even earlier and end around midnight or even later. They sleep in tents, carry 20 kg backpacks, often must weather extreme climates. Their day consists of them being on their feet hiking or climbing mountains, flexing their muscles paddling canoes – in rain or shine. Their days are very strenuous, physically arduous, but also mentally very demanding. Our ‘Experiential Learning through Adventure’ method is far from the comforts of a classroom theories-based training, moreover our programs are participant-centric versus time-centric. We don’t stop an activity because it’s 5 PM, we stop an activity when the participants have achieved their peak learning experience of the day, even if it takes hours longer. Our trainers take pride in what they do and endeavor to push participants to their utmost limits. It’s safe to say that their most rewarding moment is to see their participants able to break their own self-imposed barriers and being enlightened by the experience.

Selection, Recruitment & Training Challenge Yields Retention Successes

To be a good Outward Bound trainer, you need 3 basic skills, the hard skill (outdoor skill, coaching skills), the soft skill (intelligence and the mental attitude) and also the meta-skill (a specific set of skills to extract insights from experiences and relate them back to real life). One or two out of the three skills may be easier to find, but to find the combination of all three in a person can pose a challenge. For us in Indonesia, selection & recruitment for this position is especially hard, because there is no Outdoor Education major or school from which we could easily recruit our trainers. Nonetheless, all our trainers must be University graduates, from any subject. Consequently, on top of a thorough screening process, we take our staff training program very seriously. In order to be certified Outward Bound trainers, we implement rigorous training. For the more senior staff, we also do staff training program to other Outward Bound schools around the world.

How come the least sexy job be so attractive?

Like running a top restaurant you’ll need an excellent chef, an Outward Bound organization needs excellent trainers to deliver quality programs. And in fact we have some of the best outdoor trainers in the country who have been with us for many years. People have asked me, “If an Outward Bound trainer job is so rough and demanding, why have they stayed with you for so long?” I believe it’s due to their passion for their crafts, loyalty and dedication to the Organization and Outward Bound philosophy, but also because of the values that our company carries through. Aside from the incentives and packages that we give to our employees, we have a strong sense of family that respect and care for each other. We make known that their job is meaningful and has inspired many people. Help your people see and believe that what they do changes lives, in one way or another. Recognition about your Organization from external, such as awards, accolades, certifications is a pretty good gauge of how well your company is doing – of how well your people are doing.

If you ask me if they can be replaced, the answer is, every employee is replaceable. Hey everyone will retire some day! The key is to be able to retain your talents and have a good succession plan. An attractive salary and package is important because everybody has to eat and make a living – but that’s not the only solution. If an employee takes pride in what he does, is given a sense of purpose within the Organization, is able to find their passion and channel it in the company, I believe that he is more likely to stay than to look elsewhere.

I hope my experience is able to lend a perspective on how it is possible to turn a challenging recruitment process to what seems to be an “unattractive” job into a retention success. Best wishes toyou all!

Photo credits to Yulius Bahy