5 Common Mistakes People Make in Team Building Trainings

In my profession as a Coach in the People Development business, I see mistakes that HR Managers, Directors, even CEOs make in confusing team building trainings as a cost versus an investment for the company. In an economic sense, investment is the purchase of goods that are not consumed today, but are used in the future to create wealth.

Cost is the price paid to acquire something. Training is an investment because people are assets, not commodities. To emphasize the phrase ‘used in the future to create wealth’ to describe investment, as leaders we believe that our employees and team members will generate wealth for the organization, therefore we invest in them by developing them. One of the frequent arguments against investing in professional development is “What happens if I train my people and they leave?” A better question is “What happens if you don’t train them and they stay?”

Benefits of Team Development Trainings

An effective team building training will be able to help your organization reach new heights by building trust among the members, improving communication and collaboration, boosting their morale and essentially increasing productivity and performance. What does all this mean for the bottom line of a company? According to studies, employees with high morale are 89% more likely to put in extra effort and extra hours at work.

So in order for your company to get the most ROI from a team building training, I’d like to share the 5 most common mistakes people make that you need to avoid:

1. Being Unclear about your Goals

   You must be clear about what you want to attain from the training, and how you wish your training partner to help you reach your goals. Do you just want your employees to have a shared experience, or do you actually want them to learn about each other and to synergize together? By setting a clear goal, it’ll help you to consider the right approach as well as partner for your endeavors (see #2 below)

    

2. Picking the Wrong Partner to Develop your Team

   Next to #1, this is the second most important element to having a successful team building training. The right training partner can diagnose what your team needs, has the right software and hardware to deliver the programme, has the experience and credentials, and most critically understands how important this investment is for you.
   

3. Thinking Team Building must be Fun
   

   Too many people mistake team building as some kind of a paid vacation that’s injected with some amount of learning, sponsored by the company. The point of learning is stretching our old thinking into new philosophies, and this process to some degree requires leaving our comfort zone – and for some, this is no walk in the park. So if you’re thinking of investing money on fun in the name of training, you’d better think again.

4. Thinking Team Building Training is to Play Games
   

   The most effective method to develop a team is through a shared experience, scientifically known as experiential learning training. You and other team members are outside of a classic 4-wall classroom, are given a series of problem-solving tasks and simulations to be solved together. But there is more than meets the eye. The activities or simulations are only one part of the equation. An effective experiential learning training is one that delivers both the experience and the learning equally well. It should provide a meaningful experience; facilitate impactful reflections to draw insights behind the activities and relate them back to real-life situations.

5. Thinking Team Building is a Quick Fix

   Rome was not built in one day, and neither are teams. Studies show that people need 21 consecutive days to form a new habit, hence repetition is key. A good team building training is able to offer solutions for your teamwork issues that give a long-term impact. They say, a quick fix is a short-term fix. So if you want a strong team that’s permanent, you have to be willing to put in the time and the work.

We all desire a team that works like a well-oiled machine and yields high productivity. Sometimes we’ve got it, sometimes we haven’t got it yet. One thing is for sure, wherever we are in that spectrum, a well-coordinated and engaged team doesn’t just happen automatically. We call it teamwork because the whole team has to put in the work. You may contract a training partner to help develop your people, but building your teams is not their full-time job, it’s yours. My wish in your endeavor for wealth in your organization, is that you are investing in your people correctly and wisely.

This article has published on Now! Jakarta magazine

Forgive me Dear for I Have Sinned

I used to look down on the old cliché, “your wedding day is the best day of your life”.  I just didn’t buy it; I suppose I’ve always been a realist rather than a romantic.

My suspicions heightened in the lead up to my own wedding day with both myself and my fiancé engulfed in the usual stresses of work, but also the additional pressures of wedding planning, to the point where we became each other’s own worst enemies. This cloud of animosity loomed in my mind until I actually had qualms and doubts about the big day. Fortunately, with the support and advice of caring people around me – my fiancé included – I was able to find peace again, faith was restored and it saved me. My husband Jake and I tied the knot last month, and it was the greatest decision I’ve made yet!

One of the best pieces of marital advice we received was from the publisher of this magazine, Alistair Speirs, who attended our wedding with his lovely wife of 26 years, Barbara. He kindly shared with us the key to a long lasting and happy marriage – forgiveness. We have all heard it before, but have we truly experienced its power?

Honestly, I couldn’t say I had until very recently. The state of the relationship that I was in with my then fiancé had been a wake up call and forced me to face the truth that happiness was my choice and my responsibility, not somebody else’s. I can proudly say that the first step I took for the good of my marriage was to forgive my partner for his past wrongdoings, whether he did them intentionally or not. This decision has set me free of grudges, made me happier and able to see him in a much more positive light, and in effect improved the dynamics between us.

What has forgiveness got to do with happiness? 

My new definition of the word “forgive” is a state of mind where we voluntarily make a decision to let go of negative emotions caused by wrongdoings done by someone in the past. Allow me to dissect this definition.

A “State of Mind”

Forgiveness is not based on others’ actions but on our own attitude. We forgive not because somebody asked for it, not even the offender, but because we’re no longer allowing the hurt, disappointment, vengefulness, resentment and other negative emotions to occupy our mind. Forgiveness doesn’t mean being weak. It does not mean letting the offender off the hook. We can and should still hold others accountable for their actions or lack of actions.

A “Voluntary Decision”

In light of inter-personal relationships, forgiveness is a peaceful mental condition toward our offender that can potentially lead to reconciliation. Forgiving is not saying, “What you did was okay, so go ahead and walk all over me”. Nor is it playing the martyr, enjoying the performance of forgiving people because it perpetuates our victim role. Forgiveness is something deep and personal, it could be a one-way street without the offender ever knowing or respecting your decision. Getting another person to change his or her actions, behaviour or words isn’t the point of forgiveness. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change our lives — by bringing us peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing. Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to wield in our life.

“Wrongdoings”

People make mistakes, it’s part of human nature. After we forgive, the offender might still repeat their offenses. Should we forgive again? Yes, why not!?  Forgiveness is a process not an event, it’s a commitment not an obligation, and it might take time to get used to it, to heal and truly feel the benefits. But don’t mistake forgiveness for reconciliation. We can forgive someone even if we can never get along with them the same as before.

When we forgive, we remove our grudges and negative emotions against that person, we do it for our own peace and not their glory. Forgiveness can potentially change everything about our relationship with others because of what it can do for us. I hope this article is able to shed some positive light on forgiveness and how it can help in our journey towards happiness.

What to look for in a Team building program

There’s no denying that Teamwork is essential for any group or organization. The benefits of a cohesive team is invaluable for any organization. A 20th century inventor, industrialist and successful businessman, Henry Ford said, “Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.”

Nowadays, team development and leadership trainings have become a popular program for the training department. A team spirit is deemed as one of the most important values and required traits for people to have. It’s no wonder HR managers will seek expert help in order to acquire it.

My past article “Is your Team building training worth the investment?” raises the point of how team development programs may have been trivialized and confused with fun company events – when in actuality they are 2 parallel but different things.

I want to address how you can make the most out of your team building program, and also lend you a couple of tips on what to look for in a good program to make your training investment worth while.

Experience is our best Teacher

While there are plenty of learning methods out there, there’s nothing that teaches us better than our own experience. An education method that uses the students’ own experience and pushes them to grow outside of their comfort zone is called Experiential Learning. I believe experience to be one of the most effective ways through which human beings learn. When something (good or bad) happens to you, you’ll remember the experience and understand the learning much better than if you didn’t experience it yourself. Imagine learning to ride a bike for the first time. Scene A. Imagine doing it by just reading a manual. Scene B. Imagine doing it by actually trying to ride the bike. Which scene do you think will work more effectively? You’re right, Scene B.

In the same light, in a team building program that uses Experiential learning method, your team is directly engaged in a relationship building experience by exercising communication, coordination, leadership, followership. Essentially, instead of just learning about building teamwork from some theory, you are actually learning through it from practice.

While a team building program should be engaging and active,  make sure your teams go home with CHANGES:

1. Change in Paradigm

When a person decides to shift his way of thinking, a change in paradigm is taking place. A good team building program should be able to facilitate awareness of a person in the context of community. It acts like a mirror for the team and team members to see how they are, how they work and interact together. They should be able to reflect on the weak and strong points and where they can develop more. In essence, a good team building program is able to empower self-development and self-transformation of each team member from bad to good, from good to better, from better to great. The first step of transformation is for someone to say “I can change”.

2. Change in Behavior

A development program is a link between the “past and future”. People should take away from a training a sense of empowerment and a set of tools to act on it. It’s not enough to know about your weakness if you won’t do anything to improve it, vice versa it’s not enough to know about your strong points if you won’t put them in good use. Awareness that is followed by commitment and action can move mountains, so to speak. In the same light, a good team building program should be able to generate commitment and action of each individual team member as well as the team as a whole. The next step of transformation is for someone to say “I will change”.

My recently published article on Britcham’s Update magazine Jun/Jul issue p.40

When Did “Listen to your Customer” Become a Taboo?

Just last week, I was in Bali for the weekend. I took my three friends with me to my favorite massage parlor “Cozy” in Kuta. I’ve been going there for years and years and have always recommended it and even brought friends with me there. In short, I loved their service! What’s not to love? The place is clean, the prices are reasonable, the massage beds are comfortable, the staffs are experienced and friendly, and last but not least the place is safe. I would never, in a million years, have considered the last item “safe” being a remotely important category in reviewing a massage parlor – until now! For years I’d been going there, I always took for granted the fact that they provided lockers in the rooms underneath the beds where patrons can securely keep their belongings.

For years I’d been going there, I always did the same routine, put my things inside the locker, get the 1.5 hour full body massage, relax, and afterwards take my shower. And for years, I never had concerns or issues with the safety of my stuff. I changed nothing of my normal routine this time, except for my last minute switch up. When I got to the bathroom, I changed my mind, skipped the shower and went back to the room sooner instead. I opened the curtain halfway and found my therapist in my very dimly-lit room. She seemed surprised to see me back so early, swiftly asked me to wait outside in the hallway while she finishes up. Finally she let me in. I opened my locker and to my surprise found my things disarrayed. My things I kept in the locker were disheveled, my bag opened, wallet opened and a few other items I found all over the place outside of my bag. Somebody had broken into my locker!!!

I immediately called the therapist and told her about it. The only thing she said was a rehearsed SOP line “Did you lock the locker? Did you take the key with you when you left the room?”. Her condescending response upset me even more, so I asked for the manager, and sure enough she repeated the same SOP lines and nothing more. Their attitude towards my breaking and entering incident was overly nonchalant, cold, patronizing and blaming the customer for what happened. Not one staff showed any sympathy or concern, or cared to listen to me as to how I was feeling, or tried to investigate how the incident took place, let alone offered to help reconcile the situation.

A Bitter Learning Lesson

What I took away from that was obviously a horrid experience, violation of privacy, but most importantly poor crisis management and poor customer service on their part. It’s one thing as an establishment not to accept liability for unwanted occurrences like mine, but there’s also a thing called customer service, which in my case is the finesse to handle such predicament in order to reconcile relationships, restore trust and ensure customers can go home feeling somewhat positive afterwards.

Here are steps Cozy failed to take and should consider in managing a crisis situation:

1. First of all, Hear their story! In such negative incident, your customer is upset, angry, confused, scared, panicked – and is rightly so. The first people they will blame is you. Just listen to them. Don’t argue because it will only make matters worse. Listening to your customers doesn’t make them right, nor does it make you wrong, it just makes them feel heard, understood and important. In my case, Cozy would have benefitted from my story if they had been a good listener instead of being too busy throwing blames, and see that there’s vital internal negligence needed to be checked. Take notes to show that you’re taking it seriously, and seek facts. What Cozy should have done was ask “Can you tell me what might have happened? How did it happen?”
2. Say “sorry” Whatever happened to the saying ‘Your customer is always right”? Truthfully though, as a business woman myself, I take this phrase with a grain of salt. My motto on this issue is “Make them feel like they are right!” – because after all your customers are human too, they’re not always right and have to take responsibility also. It may not be an error on your part as an establishment, but after all it did happen, and it happened there, and by giving a sincere apology to your customer you can alleviate their negative emotions and make them feel better. One simple word can really determine the course of a disagreement resolution process. On the flip side, sometimes by giving an apology, you can also tell if a customer’s intention is genuine or not. In my case, Cozy should have at least said “We’re sorry to see you so upset”.
3. Empathize. The customer has just gone through a terrible experience in your establishment. Don’t be such a stickler with the liability rules. Have some compassion as human being! If that’s too big of a word, show you care at least. Ask if there’s anything you can do to make them feel better. A glass of water can also help calm their nerves. What Cozy did not do and should have done was simply ask “Did you check your belongings? Is everything there? Is anything missing at all?”
4. Give understanding to the customer. By doing steps 1-3 effectively, we’re able to help our customer to calm down and think clearly, versus emotionally. At this point, as an establishment, you can explain the company’s policy. This is an essential step especially if the negligence is on the customer’s part. Be aware, this is not a “blame” game, this is a “give understanding” game. Nobody wants to be called out for their error, and especially not your customers. By doing this effectively, you’re not admitting fault, but you’re not blaming the customer and making them feel worse either. Help your customers see from an objective angle what your company’s policies are in regards to the issue. Instead of patronizing me about locker keys, what Cozy should have done was say “Madam, we always enforce security and safety in the premises being a mutual responsibility by asking all our patrons to lock the lockers and take the key with them everywhere they go to prevent any loss or theft.”
5. Last but not least, What Next?. As bad as an experience a customer has had, if they see that you are eager to improve in order to make their potential future experience better, there’s a fair chance they might consider coming back. As bad as the breaking and entering incident was, Cozy didn’t have to lose me as a customer or even get negative reviews from me over it had they handled the situation correctly. More often than not, an excellent crisis management trumps the crisis itself. Considering everything that had happened to me, I might have actually considered going back still, had they done all the right steps to manage the crisis. What Cozy failed to do and should have done was take this stand “We will investigate the cause of the incident, and make sure to improve security on our part as well as by reminding our patrons to maintain safety”

Bad incidents can happen anywhere at anytime due to any reason with your customers. The most important thing should an incident occur is to manage it so that trust can be restored and your customer will still leave with a positive impression. Every company has their own set of SOPs when it comes to crisis management, but essentially in the event it should occur, every customer wants to be treated as an individual, as a human being with respect and compassion. I hope that my experience can help be a checking point to you about the importance of building, maintaining and restoring relationships with your customers.

This article has been published on Outward Bound Indonesia’s blog

HELLO?? ARE YOU LISTENING??

I recently gave a communication workshop that I called “Hello?? Are you Listening??” to a wonderful group of professional women. The premise of this topic was to raise awareness of the importance of listening as an equal counterpart of speaking, to understand why listening is not as easy as we like to think, and to get the practical ways of how we can enhance our listening skills and therefore improve the quality of our communication. The workshop went tremendously well, with all the ladies actively participating and attentively listening! *big smiles on my face

Photo credit: technorati.com

How can I be more interesting to people?

I completed my day at one of the chambers’ networking evening event. You always meet different, unique and interesting people at these events. Personally, I like to ask questions to and about the person I’m talking to, especially when I’m just meeting them for the first time, with the intention to explore about them – and make conversations. Dale Carnegie, an international communication guru said in his book “How to win friends and influence people” that in order to be interesting, you must first be interested! He also said that the rule of thumb of a good conversationalist is to be a good listener.

Here’s a fact, most of us think that the only person we think is interesting is ourselves!

As the story goes, I met a gentleman at the event who was very interesting. He had a story for everything,…and apparently the stories never stopped coming. What I came to realize was that he was a talker, as he started monopolizing the conversations. At one point of the conversation, I made an attempt to reply to his comment by telling a short story. And sure enough, he interrupted me halfway by starting a new topic altogether. I was actually quite dumbfounded by this notion. I found it ironical and comical at the same time, knowing the fact that I’d just given a workshop about listening earlier that day.

Okay, are you listening now??

The incident I had with that gentleman just re-confirmed my belief that listening is NOT easy and that it’s a skill everyone can learn and practice. You know when you’re having a good conversation with someone when there’s an equal amount of interaction, equal amount of asking and equal amount of answering or story telling. Conversations are like a game of tennis, it’s fun when two players are hitting the ball back and forth to each other. Good communication or conversations are also based on respect. When you respect someone, you’re able to listen to them better. But don’t forget, the opposite also holds true, respecting someone means giving them a chance to be heard. When you’re sharing a story to a friend, and she gives you an undivided attention, doesn’t it make you feel really good about yourself? Like you’re the most interesting person on earth?

I hope some of you can benefit from my (unfortunate) encounter. But we can change things around in our daily communications and make a conscious effort to listen better. Next time you want to interrupt someone in the middle of their sentence, stop and listen more – there might be something very interesting you wouldn’t discover otherwise.

This article has been published on Outward Bound Indonesia’s blog